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Yosh -- listen up, Hogwarts! It is finally time to reveal the AWESOME POWER OF THE SHAKESPEARIAN THESPIAN ..what... I mean, the news you've all been waiting for!

I, the wizarding world's GLORIOUS PROUD GREEN BEAST, am no longer your Charms TA. That post has been given back to Zidane Tribal, who SHALL BE KNOWN AS DARTH nonono, who just arrived from THE NEW YORK COMICON TO SAY... wait, is my journal acting up again? *sound of the journal being whacked with his wand* ..But never fear; I am not going away! Instead, from henceforward, I will START AND NEVER STOP ..well, that, too....

I AM THE NEW FLYING TEACHER FOR FIRST THROUGH FOURTH YEARS!!! *stares suspiciously, then draws a thumbs-up as he sees there are no more extraneous words* So you will all get to meet me on the Quidditch pitch BRIGHT AND EARLY next week for your first lesson!!

*throws open the door to his old quarters in the teachers' wing, only to find....*
..I see Halloween started a little early in my room, eh? AHAHAHAHAHAReducto! Reducto!! ..hah, that takes care of them.... come my mail wasn't forwarded again? So many letters -- hmm.... *shuffling paper* ..wait, this isn't addressed to me--


[[Cleared with Gau-mun. This is clearly going to lead to madcap hijinks. XDDD And all those very readable strikeouts are derived from HERE. *dies laughing*]]
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After being away for over a week, it will be interesting to see how the school has changed in my absence! Now that the fall season has started, are the leaves changing colours? Have the Halloween decorations gone up yet? Hmmm... must find out how our Charms students are doing... and see what supplies are in the Quidditch shed.... and.... Change is one of the incredible, unstoppable facts of life. So it's important to meet it head-on and make the most of it!

For example.

BEHOLD, MY NEW JOURNAL!!!! Did anyone else's ever spontaneously catch on fire AND melt AND explode all at the same time, or does that only happen to me?


And I'm going to need it -- this is amazing, FANTASTIC, wait'll Lee finds out, I AM SO ECSTATIC I COULD OUTRUN THIS TRAIN ALL THE WAY TO HOGWARTS... and... well, why not? It will be a great way to test myself! Even if I don't make it, it will still be fantastic training, and for every mile I miss, I can add two to my daily set of laps around the lake!!!


[[And he's BACK!! As much of last year's plottage has been retconned, I'm partially opting out of the current event -- Gai's previous entries will be unavailable for perusal. Srsly, this is his third or fourth journal in two years..... However, everything from this post until the end of the event will be open for all to see!]]
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AAAUUGH!! Everything in my travel pack is soaking wet!! It looks like my journal bore the brunt of it -- what is it with me and journals?? *frowns* But this pack was supposed to be waterproof.... And speaking of which, I never knew rowing could be such a challenge -- what about that second time we almost tipped over, eh? Hoo-HAH!! But you two rallied MAGNIFICENTLY, and we made it a trip to remember, even after getting soaked! FAKIR!!! Didn't I tell you it would be worthwhile? There's no way you can look me in the eye and say that wasn't the best boating expedition ever!!

[[Private to Tenten]]

So I see you've met Ty Lee....? *SHINY GRIN~*


[[Fakir-mun, Ahiru-mun, I hope that suits! ^__^d]]
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*due to magical bleed-through where Reparo didn't do such a good job on Gai's ripped-up journal, a few words from his private notes are accidentally open to all readers....* the Apparition point knows me by sight!! And for good reason; it's been
                    waiting is the hardes
          mbledore said (but it was as confusing this time as


..I should probably use that charm again. In class. On the targets. The turning of the year shouldn't be dreary and droopy. Even Auror training and especially Professor Marchbanks needs a little perking up up once in a while!! >D

[[Hello, exceedingly vague can-has-no-details post. ^^ Just a placeholder for certain matters. Oh, look, something shiny!]]
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No Portkey available today. But I will not be late while I have a broomstick!! BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. ..I saw the train while I was flying north.... what's it doing making a trip at this time of year? Supplies? A new teacher?? Good grief, I hope no one else got hurt....

[[Filtered to Neji]]

This is another new journal, so maybe it will actually work and you will be able to read this.



[[Filtered to TenTen]]

My journal blew up and I did not receive your latest messages. What is going on?



I should talk to the Counselor. The Ministry has pamphlets about depression, but they are too general to be any use. If it's this bad, I cannot fail him through incomplete understanding. I... as much as I care about him, I cannot do this alone....

This has gone far beyond poor Neji. Ah, my Lee... loss and rejection have ruled his young life. His foster parents, resenting his magical disability. His best friend... disappearing for years, trying to kill him, and then disappearing again after they'd reconciled.... other friends leaving, one by one... perhaps only his youthful spirit sustained him for this long.... confound the Ministry, keeping me back in London after the paperwork was in already.... ..does he think that even I will leave him? These wounds are so deep, so deep....

I can't lose him....


Only another week, then the winter break and we will -- but...

*swears blackly, then covers the words with a heavy strikeout when he realizes what he's said*

That assignment.... I had forgotten.....

[[Due to ministry work and his all too convenient journal malfunctions, Gai has NO CLUE what has been happening since he left Hogwarts on Wednesday. He will be arriving on the castle grounds as you read this, nearly frozen solid from flying all the way to Scotland in the dead of winter, visibly shaken by Lee's recent signs of major depression, and with his hair significantly shorter in front. Rose, Jen, Cella, Kris, EMAIL MEEEE!~]]
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[[Private, partially (and inadvertently) hackable to friends]]

AUGH. Training this week was more grueling than ever. I didn't even have a chance to work on tracing... well, Madame Vance has been looking at it. Maybe she had time.

Is it my imagination, or have some of the Hogwarts staff been acting a little bit... odd? Hexing one another in the courtyards -- they're supposed to be protectors and sources of inspiration for the youth under their care! What is this world coming to!?

Strange... how the world changes as one's youth passes by... Three years ago I would have laughed! But there's a point where laughter becomes cruelty. There was a time when I, too, took offense at the smallest slight to my honor. Sometimes, though.... sometimes the obvious answer makes things worse. I could get mad at him for being mad at me, but isn't it more important to remember that he's my friend?

Does that mean... I'm more mature than Kakashi???? *boggles*


Of all the strange holidays they observe in England, Halloween has got to be the best. Costumes, jokes, even more weirdness than usual, and a chance to face your darkest fears in a secure environment.... what's not to like? BE SAFE WITH YOUR PRANKS, PEOPLE! If it's fun, it should be fun for everyone, not just you. What better way to spread hilarity and joy?

Some of my London comrades are planning to celebrate with a scary movie night!! There's something I never did before! Ah, how I wish my good friends at Hogwarts could share this amazing experience!! Ooh, ooh!! Speaking of experiences, who else is helping with the haunTED HOUSE?????

*a few VERY LARGE scribbles, then something that sounds remarkably like a book being whacked repeatedly with a wand*

Gah, it's doing it again! My journal is JINXED!! JINXED, I SAY!!! Aaaaugh, why me? I thought I got rid of my journal problems when I THREW THE LAST ONE OUT.

[[Strike = absolutely unhackable.]]
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UCHIHA is a PREFECT???? Aaaauugh, my poor former schoolfellows! THIS is what HAPPENS when I'm not around to keep an eye on things!!!

Congratulations to everyone who got the position of their dreams, and especially to Hufflepuff House's prefects, Heads, and Quidditch team!!! OSAKA, I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT!!!! You guys had better train ZEALOUSLY and WELL, because I'm going to be right up there in the stands CHEERING YOU ON!!!

Why is everyone's writing suddenly smaller?? Either my journal's shrinking -- EGAD!!! -- or it's some kind of prank. I didn't know they did pranks here at the Ministry!!! *squints* Oh, well, as long as I'm not missing anything.....

Anybody know what's going on for Halloween? >D And... what's this I hear about a school play?

[[Filtered to Kakashi]]

You'll never BELIEVE what we just learned in cl

... *doesn't really believe Kakashi wants to know anymore*

[[Strikes = illegible, though obviously there. And again I invoke the Evil Malfunctioning Journal Technique to cover for my reluctant Gai muse. ;_;]]
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Ys thys thyng wyrkyng? -- WYYT, WHYRY YRY YLL THY VYWYLS?????

*taps with wand, mutters the incantation Ryuzaki taught him*

Tysting, testing.... huh, that was odd. But LO!!! This new journal should solve my communication problems completely! MY FELLOW STUDENTS AND ALUMNI, KONOHA'S PROUD GREEN BEAST IS BACK!!! HOW ARE YOU ALL?? *SHINY GRIN*

[[Private, hackable if you're really good]]

No time to search this week. Who knew there would be an assignment right here in London!? And with the old journal acting up... egad, I must have missed a lot. But I will find something before the autumn leaves fall, or else I shall... I shall.... run ALL THE WAY AROUND LONDON FORTY TIMES BEFORE SPRING!!!!


[[Yes, ladies and gents, this is for all intents and purposes a slightly foxed brand new journal. Gai picked it up in Diagon Alley because his old one had become unmanageable. But LITTLE DOES HE KNOW that this new one has secrets of its own.... MWAHAHAHAHA!!]]
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THIS IS A TEST; THIS IS A TEST..... wait, why can't I see the words!?

This never happened when I was at Hogwarts.....

[[Page is heavily scored with what looks like the impressions of words written over each other.]]
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Hahaha -- what with everyone coming to Diagon Alley for their school supplies, this week was just like a massive Hogwarts reunion!!! The youthful days of high summer have passed in a happy blur as my future career grows ever more imminent. Those paper airplanes are still coming, but I now have a PLAN. And I THOUGHT I SAW A DEATH EATER but it was only Professor Snape. *shivers*

Some invisible scourge is still decimating my poor journal. I thought it was nargles, but the tooth marks are... unusual. Maybe the woman at the Magical Menagerie can figure it out.


..Tried the Ministry and St. Mungo's... Florean's is too small to qualify; the Knight Bus is part of the
municipal system... the charities and Homes are... well, there was one that.... *gazes sadly out over the London rooftops.... and then sits up, stares, leaps to his feet and RUNS LIKE THE WIND*


WHY IS THERE A ROBOT CHASING ME!? And why is it calling me "Vigorous Spirit Hatahat"?

[[*IZ BACK!!!* Gai has spent most of last week in Diagon Alley, with intermittent forays into Muggle and Wizarding London to search for a public service job that would suit his talents. Due to whatever has been eating through his journal, the second strike represents a hole in the parchment; consequently the privacy spell on the rest of the paragraph does not work.]]
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*after a space of mangled pages whose scalloped edges have a suspicious resemblence to bite marks* AAAAAAUUUUGH!!!! THERE WERE NARGLES IN MY JOURNAL!!!!! THEY ATE HALF THE SUMMER!!!!! I thought you people were being suspiciously quiet! Hey, did I miss anything? Who else is in London right now????

Where are you these days, Kakashi?? Keeping yourself busy in preparation for the THRILLING NEW YEAR? Because if you're NOT, I have a challenge with your name on it..... *rubs hands gleefully*

[[Private, first paragraph semi-hackable]]

A d-d-d-Death Eater in Diagon Alley!??? It's a -- a travesty, a cataclysm -- oh, they're getting bold, to roam free in such a populous location! And with the new term coming up, and all the precious children of the wizarding world streaming unawares into such peril.....

*FISTS CLENCH* It's only a rumor, but I cannot let this ride. Sir Integra wouldn't sit back and do nothing. As long as I'm here, I shall turn my INVESTIGATIVE SKILLS to the task of identifying threats to the denizens of Diagon Alley! It will be my summer's last and most important operation! Nobody endangers MY compatriots while--


*snatches a paper airplane out of the air before it can hit his shoulder, springs to his feet* --WHOEVER YOU ARE, CUT THAT OUT!!!!!

[[Strikes illegible. Feel free to claim responsibility for the paper airplanes. Also, Ahiru told Gai about Kaoru's hair-raising escape from doom. Result 1: THE RUMOR MILL GRINDS ON. Result 2: anyone going into Diagon Alley for the next week or so is more than likely to encounter London's Proud Green Beast. XDDD]]


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Maito Gai

March 2009

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